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Contents Listing - Articles & Features in this issue
NISSAN SKYLINE - Let's work out roughly how many horses of power appear in this month's Max Power. We'll start the stampede off with 650 horses courtesy of Nissan. A Skyline GTR to be precise, yum yums
RS KICKIN' ESCORTS - Here's 259.2 and 233.9bhp, courtesy of Mr Mark Shead at M.A. Developments. Two mightily quick Escort RS Turbos with proven horses: 493.1bhp in total, which added to the Skyline gives 1143.1bhp
LAgUNA AND INTEGRALE - Add another 190 and another 290 and the total horsepower count comes to 1623.1 bhp in this issue so far. These are two fine machines from van Aaken, with 35 inches of wheel diameter between them
CRUISE PATROL FRENZY - Christ knows how much horsepower was present at the Dry Street Cruise in December, but 2500 cars at a conservative estimate at 70bhp each probably means about 175,000, bringing the total to 176,623.1 bhp
RIEGER GOLF - A 2.0-litre 16v engine and a gorgeous bodykit. So, 176,623.1 plus about 180 is 176,803.1 bhp and we're only on page 38. That's a lot
NICE BIG PUG - Pugs don't come any cleaner than this. Big wheels and about 160bhp (guessing here) brings the total in March's Max to 179171.1 bhp
TOP-NOTCH NOVA - About 170bhp here, thanks to John Haslam's 2.0-litre Nova. Beautiful car this, bringing the total to 178,293bhp, thank you. Perhaps the nicest Nova ever. Whaddya think
AWESOME POLO - It's got a standard engine but the ICE install will blow your mind. Unfortunately, wattage can't add to our horsepower count, and its contribution is meagre at 78 bhp bringing the total to 178371.1 bhp
COSSIE ESCORT - Oh, crickeys, an Escort Cosworth with kinda amazing graphics and 470bhp making 178,841.1 bhp so far in this issue. If you take away the 175,000 of Cruise Patrol we're still talking 3841.1 bhp. Not bad for one mag
HONDA CRX V6 - Calibra V6 in a CRX. Bloody great, eh, and 194bhp too. That's a total of 4035.1 horses, or 179.035.1bhp if you count Cruise Patrol. Lotta horses. Imagine if they all decided to do a pooh at the same time!
READERS CARS - Well, we reckon this car could be capable of 250bhp. So, in total, we have 179,551.1 horses this month in Max Metal, or 4551.1 bhp not counting Cruise Patrol. I'm not sure how many of these horses actually exist - though Mark Shead's Escorts have been independently rolling roaded so that's proven
TDP GEAR - Greggy writes Top Gear this month. Greggy claims to have had sex at the weekend but surely even the goat population of London would never stoop so low
KISS MY BASS - Your big up ya nostril sexy guide to the pumpingest bass tracks in the world from Kiss FM top boy Chris Philips, formerly located on the last page of the mag but now here for some reason
SAAB 900 BUYING GUIDE - You've seen buying guides before, but not on this particular motor. Ask snapper Jason There's Something Up With My Motor' Critchell about Saab 900s and he'll tell you a thing or two, won't he Jim
JUST SEVENTEENS WHEELS GUIDE - Don't think she'll actually get her baps out, but she'll come close - damn close. Baps out Hey, if it's a Just Seventeen spoof, I foresee lots of gags about 17in cocks
FATHER JON'S POWER SURGERY - Speaking of which, here's Father Jon answering all your questions. He's replaced Jim but he's better than him. He's 23 but he's still a father. Kids all over the world, this guy
IN THE FRIDGE - Let's be quite clear about this; Longmill are ICE manufacturers and not bakers, so why are there a couple of hundred sliced white loaves in this feature by Adam Is It Time To Eat Yet' Rayner Ah, it's all beginning to make sense now
AMP GUIDE - Four-channel amps, the best and the not so best and the mediumly not best and the crap. Adam eats pure blubber oil and animal fat sandwiches for tea, with the crusts cut off of course
TUNER'S ICE CAR - Another food theme from Adam, this time in conjunction with BBG's Porsche 944 Outlaw demo car and utilising a joint of pork. Jeez, that man Rayner sure does know how to eat on expenses
RS KICKIN' ESCORTS - Here's 259.2 and 233.9bhp, courtesy of Mr Mark Shead at M.A. Developments. Two mightily quick Escort RS Turbos with proven horses: 493.1bhp in total, which added to the Skyline gives 1143.1bhp
LAgUNA AND INTEGRALE - Add another 190 and another 290 and the total horsepower count comes to 1623.1 bhp in this issue so far. These are two fine machines from van Aaken, with 35 inches of wheel diameter between them
CRUISE PATROL FRENZY - Christ knows how much horsepower was present at the Dry Street Cruise in December, but 2500 cars at a conservative estimate at 70bhp each probably means about 175,000, bringing the total to 176,623.1 bhp
RIEGER GOLF - A 2.0-litre 16v engine and a gorgeous bodykit. So, 176,623.1 plus about 180 is 176,803.1 bhp and we're only on page 38. That's a lot
NICE BIG PUG - Pugs don't come any cleaner than this. Big wheels and about 160bhp (guessing here) brings the total in March's Max to 179171.1 bhp
TOP-NOTCH NOVA - About 170bhp here, thanks to John Haslam's 2.0-litre Nova. Beautiful car this, bringing the total to 178,293bhp, thank you. Perhaps the nicest Nova ever. Whaddya think
AWESOME POLO - It's got a standard engine but the ICE install will blow your mind. Unfortunately, wattage can't add to our horsepower count, and its contribution is meagre at 78 bhp bringing the total to 178371.1 bhp
COSSIE ESCORT - Oh, crickeys, an Escort Cosworth with kinda amazing graphics and 470bhp making 178,841.1 bhp so far in this issue. If you take away the 175,000 of Cruise Patrol we're still talking 3841.1 bhp. Not bad for one mag
HONDA CRX V6 - Calibra V6 in a CRX. Bloody great, eh, and 194bhp too. That's a total of 4035.1 horses, or 179.035.1bhp if you count Cruise Patrol. Lotta horses. Imagine if they all decided to do a pooh at the same time!
READERS CARS - Well, we reckon this car could be capable of 250bhp. So, in total, we have 179,551.1 horses this month in Max Metal, or 4551.1 bhp not counting Cruise Patrol. I'm not sure how many of these horses actually exist - though Mark Shead's Escorts have been independently rolling roaded so that's proven
TDP GEAR - Greggy writes Top Gear this month. Greggy claims to have had sex at the weekend but surely even the goat population of London would never stoop so low
KISS MY BASS - Your big up ya nostril sexy guide to the pumpingest bass tracks in the world from Kiss FM top boy Chris Philips, formerly located on the last page of the mag but now here for some reason
SAAB 900 BUYING GUIDE - You've seen buying guides before, but not on this particular motor. Ask snapper Jason There's Something Up With My Motor' Critchell about Saab 900s and he'll tell you a thing or two, won't he Jim
JUST SEVENTEENS WHEELS GUIDE - Don't think she'll actually get her baps out, but she'll come close - damn close. Baps out Hey, if it's a Just Seventeen spoof, I foresee lots of gags about 17in cocks
FATHER JON'S POWER SURGERY - Speaking of which, here's Father Jon answering all your questions. He's replaced Jim but he's better than him. He's 23 but he's still a father. Kids all over the world, this guy
IN THE FRIDGE - Let's be quite clear about this; Longmill are ICE manufacturers and not bakers, so why are there a couple of hundred sliced white loaves in this feature by Adam Is It Time To Eat Yet' Rayner Ah, it's all beginning to make sense now
AMP GUIDE - Four-channel amps, the best and the not so best and the mediumly not best and the crap. Adam eats pure blubber oil and animal fat sandwiches for tea, with the crusts cut off of course
TUNER'S ICE CAR - Another food theme from Adam, this time in conjunction with BBG's Porsche 944 Outlaw demo car and utilising a joint of pork. Jeez, that man Rayner sure does know how to eat on expenses
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